I reached out today, because I'm starting to feel like I did before my recovery started.
I rediscovered my therapy writing book and was saddened to find I related once again to the bleakness I felt when I poured desperate words onto the tear-streaked pages.
I am going to take a friend up on an offer to go to her church group. Not because I believe, but because apparently it's a healing community and, at this point, any positivity sounds perfect.
We're also going to do two evenings a week going for a stroll and talk.
I'm also going to start writing in my therapy book again because I found that to be healing back then.
Perhaps do some art, too. I need to create a healing environment so I can feel planted again instead of buried.
I'm making heartfelt pledges of love to people for no other reason than I'm terrified to be left alone and abandoned, when honestly I'm not capable of loving anyone right now. I'm getting fatter than ever and my anxiety is at an all-time-high.
The only thing (thank goodness for medication) that is under control is my psychosis, although that took a long time to sort out.
Can a troubled soul ever be truly soothed?
