I haven't posted in a while, I've not been able to put into words how I'm feeling which is a rarity for me. I don't know if I've just been overwhelmed, or too busy, or what has been going on but I've honestly missed having my little blog to release some of my thoughts into.
I thought world mental health day would be perfect because everywhere today people are talking mental health.
And I'm ready to talk about mine.
Things have all gotten on top of me, and I'd forgotten how to do basic things like ask for help.
I'd forgotten that relapses are not anything to be ashamed about, and I'd forgotten to look for support from online services or hotlines.
I went to therapy today and the theme of this week was self-kindness.
Too long I've been angry at myself for feeling down, too long I've felt weak and useless for crying about my problems. My therapist suggested this is due to my trauma and not having comfort when it was necessary. I don't self soothe, I attack myself with forms of self harm and my pyschosis throwing negative comments my way. It's time to try and sit with my (totally valid) emotions and tell yself it's okay not to be okay. I mean, that's the message I send to everyone else right?
Is it hypocrytical of me to tell people to be kind to themselves when I am unkind to myself? I think it might be..
As always, seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed like I am, reach out to anyone who is acting differently, and finally GIVE YOURSELF SOME SELF-LOVING.
You really are deserving of kindness and love and good things.
xoxo
