Time to Talk day 2019

• It's Time to Talk day on 7th February 2019 and so I've compiled a few tips on how to make that ever-so important conversation about mental health.
  
  
  ·         Set yourself emotional boundaries to avoid sharing something you may later regret.
  
  
  ·          Ensure if you are sharing personal information or experiences that you are doing it to people you trust in a safe space.
  
  
  ·         Be as open as you can, it will encourage others to do the same.
  
  
  ·         Don't be afraid to talk generally about mental health in public spaces, it can be something as simple as, 'this weather is really affecting my mood today, how are you doing mentally?' But it could really help somebody who may not have known how to bring their struggles into the conversation.
  
  
  ·         A cup of tea, a biscuit and a smile can go a long way. A listening ear goes even further. 
  
  
  
  
  What goes into a good conversation about mental health?
  Honesty about your own situation. You don't have to have experience of mental illness to talk about mental health, because we all have it. You can have a healthy mind and still want to discuss stresses or ask someone else how they are managing. It's okay to be okay and still want to have a conversation about mental health, just as much as it's okay to not be okay. There is no discrimination here. 
  Time to really hear what someone else is telling you. If you must rush off in 2 minutes to a meeting, asking someone for an in-depth conversation about how they are feeling might not be the right time. But asking someone if they are free later for a catch up if they need to talk further may make them have something to look forward to, and the knowledge that someone cares enough to make time for them.
  A safe space. Someone may be less likely to open-up fully to you on a packed tube station, but they may feel comfortable over a cup of tea at home or a quiet café.
  Encouragement is key reinforcement that you really do care. A lot of people with mental illnesses feel a burden to others and so good body language and encouraging, kind, words can really help them to relax and feel comfortable to talk.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The impact of talking about mental health
  Firstly, the impact on you. Remember the boundaries; speaking about things you don't feel ready to can be damaging. Speak to family members and friends where you can to see how they might feel, as your conversation could affect them, and try to act appropriately. It's completely okay to be vague about details you're not comfortable sharing, and it's just as important to tell someone you're not comfortable answering certain questions. It's your story and you are in control. However, the impact it can have on third parties can be overwhelmingly positive. I've personally had people go from telling me I can't possibly have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder because I haven't served in the forces, to having them walk away with an understanding that any trauma can cause PTSD. I've explained to people that Personality Disorders do not make you manipulative or violent, but vulnerable and in need of support. My BPD has provoked people to say: 'don't we all struggle with emotions though?' and enabled me to explain that it's actually a whole lot more than that; we didn't develop our emotions properly as children due to whatever reasons and thus we find it difficult to process what is happening to us.  My speaking to these people and challenging their beliefs and misconceptions of mental health allows me to educate others. Our conversations are reaching people and making a difference, and the more we challenge stigma the better we can make the lives of those with lived experiences of mental illness.