How do you just go from nothing to something? One day you're lying face down in despair and the next you're supposed to just be a functioning member of society? It seems as though the world expects this; they don't realise that tomorrow I may manage to lay on my back, the next day make it to the sofa, then suddenly I'm back on the floor again; but the next day I've walked about a bit. Today I wanted to talk about important things to remember whilst trying to heal. I planned to post this the other day but things have been really busy and it was my birthday yesterday so now I can post this as an older and hopefully slightly wiser person 😜
Comparison is the thief of joy. It shouldn't matter how our peers seem to be doing. Each and every one of is fighting a silent, valiant, and ultimately invisible battle in our minds. We all have hopes, we all have fears. There is no use comparing yourself to anyone else. That's like judging your swimming ability against a fish, or your writing skills against a snake. Some battles you are just not ever going to win. That's okay, as long as you win the war.
Everybody's lives are nothing like their social media proclaims it to be. We all pick and choose what we show on our profiles, we only post the photos we are happy with, and it's always with perfect angles and lighting; nobody is going to post the 27 similar ones that didn't quite make the cut. We keep secrets like how we really feel hidden, and we get away with it because we live in a world where nobody looks up from their screens long enough to question anything.
It's okay to feel angry. Seems simple, right? But for me I have a lot of misplaced anger and a fear of outwardly expressing it. I have to remind myself it is a valid emotion and that it's okay for me to be angry for the things I've been through; but it's not okay to be malicious towards myself or others.
Recovery isn't straight forward. It doesn't just show you each day managing a little better. Sometimes it's one step forward four steps back, other days you make no progress and sometimes you take five steps forward and stay there. None of these pathways are the same, and none are right or wrong. It doesn't make you weak to relapse and it doesn't make you stronger because you hit remission before another person. We all heal at different rates, we experience different obstacles and our brains are wired differently.
It isn't the end of the world, or yours, if you relapse. It can feel like everything you did to stay well wasn't good enough, all your self-care routines suddenly aren't enough and you can't figure out what you did wrong; and it's because you didn't. Sometimes we just have a relapse, and it could be that the meds need changing up, or something has triggered a memory or just because you can't be strong every day. Whatever the reason, allow yourself the courtesy of being kind to yourself. It's challenging enough without beating yourself up because you think you failed. Try to see it as a positive that you coped for so long, and allow yourself to recuperate fully.
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