Monday, 2 July 2018

WHAT IS A COMPLIMENT YOU STRUGGLE TO ACCEPT ABOUT YOURSELF?


Any.
I’m extremely uncomfortable when it comes to compliments; I find them unbelievable, perhaps even forced or fake. I’ve always been this way, perhaps it’s because I’ve always seen the things I’ve wished to be in other people. I’ve always compared myself to others, and I’ve perfected the art of putting myself down; because if I say it, it saves me the uncomfortable feeling that everyone is thinking it secretly.
I think the ones I’ve always ignored or laughed off the most is about appearance over personality, but really anything that makes me seem better than I feel is instantly rejected. I feel my friends’ frustration as I disregard their compliments and hold on to the one negative thing.
‘You look fantastic, today’ will convert into me wondering if they usually think I look awful. Otherwise, why are they so surprised, right?
I know I’m not the only one who does this; I’m always hearing men and women putting themselves down in some way or comparing themselves to others. Not only do I know I’m not alone in feeling: inadequate, not smart enough, not successful enough, not attractive enough, not thin enough; I also know how damaging this can be to our self-esteem. Each time we reinforce our own, or somebody else’s belief that we aren’t good enough, we are telling ourselves that we don’t matter. We are telling ourselves that we don’t deserve respect, or love.
It’s not something I’m going to be able to change in a month, but I definitely want to start hearing the good things and allowing them to sit with me instead of instantly dismissing them as lies. Perhaps what they are saying is slightly exaggerated, perhaps they’re only saying it to make me feel better. But if we’re honest, don’t we all desperately want to feel good about ourselves?
So maybe it’s time to let ourselves say ‘okay, bring on the compliments’ every now and again. And even more important than that; lets give ourselves some! 💗

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