Now this challenge is complete, I'm taking a day's breather before I start the next series; I didn't want them all to blur into one.
So today I'm just going to write a little bit about my long-term struggles with anxiety, and things I can do to prevent or aid in coping with panic attacks. Obviously not everything works for every person, and I'm not a therapist so please don't take these as anything more than suggestions and me talking about things that personally help me when I'm struggling.
I was diagnosed with panic attacks when I was 14 years old. I never had any mental health assessment so I never really understood what I was going through and was under the assumption it was a 'teenage phase' as the doctor told my mother. Due to this, it took me a very long time to realise that in actual fact things were triggering this response, that it was okay to feel this way and most importantly; there were things I could implement in order to make these experiences manageable.
1. Grounding myself.
When I feel an attack coming on, or if one sneaks up on me, I try to implement grounding techniques or as some call it, mindfulness. I try to think of 5 things I can see, 5 things I can hear, 5 things I can feel and so on. It really helps me to stay in the moment and, especially if my panic attack sets off a psychotic episode, it helps me to recognise reality.
2. Healing powers of water.
Sipping cooled water is a great way to remain calm. Deep breaths between sips can help both cool down and calm down. If I am near a sink I run cold water on my wrists and focus on the sensation. Chewing or sucking on ice cubes can also keep me grounded. Failing that, a hot bath can help me to relax and the bubbles and relaxing scent contribute to a safe and soothing environment.
3. Fresh air.
When an attack comes on I find a lot of people tend to crowd me, usually with the best intentions, but this can make it worse as chances are I'm already hyperventilating. Fresh air, isolation or one trusted person to soothe me or to prompt me to do the grounding techniques and a glass of water can make all the difference.
4. Something to fiddle with.
I'm a fiddler; it's a nervous trait. Whether it is my hair, cracking my fingers, or doodling, I've got to have something to focus on. When things are uncomfortable, or socialising feels too much, it's great to have a stress ball to squeeze or a tangle toy to concentrate on.
5. Music.
Headphones are something I tend to always have on my person. They really help to reduce or block out thoughts or voices, and concentrating on the lyrics or the melody can help me remain calm and feel safe. Sometimes when I'm struggling at night I play music softly through my laptop to help me feel less alone.
6. Medication
Sometimes all that just isn't enough and I have to get pharmaceutical help from my psychiatrist or GP. I take them if I know I'm heading into a potentially triggering scenario such as a crowded place or a party. I carry them around and if I feel a little anxious I take one and they kick in within 20 minutes. Providing I use my other coping strategies, this usually works.
The trick for me really is to not engage in a battle with my anxiety. The second I start telling myself I'm ridiculous and try to counteract the negatives, I've lost myself to a relentless game of tennis with no hopes of doing anything other than exhaust myself out and raise my stress levels higher. It's about trying to accept the emotion, reduce the amount of triggering stimuli where I can, and focus on things that make me feel safe and calm. It's also about accepting that some days I really can't manage and that I need to be a hermit for the day. It's not giving up; it's just picking your battles wisely.
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