HOW CAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK TODAY; MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, OR EMOTIONALLY?

I can stop berating myself for things I had no control of, and stop punishing myself for things I did have control of but are no longer changeable.

The only thing I can change is my present and future self, I can't undo the mistakes I've done, or go back in time and choose different pathways, and I certainly can't erase falling in love with someone who hurt me, or wasn't good for me. I can't go back and prevent certain things happening to me, I can't stop my dad from leaving, I can't reverse the abuse I endured and I can't escape my mental illness.

I can have a day where I just accept that the past was a painful but important lesson and I can appreciate that I'm alive. I can appreciate I'm well-fed, I'm clean with clothes on my back, a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. I can appreciate I have a whole lot of people who love and care for me, and that I don't have to go through the bad days alone anymore.

I can have a day where despite wishing to hide from the world, I will face it head-on and remind it who's boss. I can have a day where I listen to good music, and scribble some thoughts down, and plan for a better day tomorrow; one where I can tell my care-coordinator about the challenges I both face and overcome. I can tell her that while life is a struggle, I'm grateful to have one, and appreciative of all the help I'm being offered.

I can have a day where I smile for the sake of smiling, and breathe in the fresh air, and make my bed so when I get home all sweaty from the gym I can have a refreshing shower and put on fresh pyjamas and get into clean sheets. I can drink lots of water, and use plenty of moisturiser, and put a clear protective varnish on my nails and shape them nicely. I can shove my hair into a 'no fuss bun' as I like to call it because it's only going to get ruined during my workout, and I can have a no make-up day and not care if I look like a troll or not, because who's going to see it?

I can lay here and rest my aching shoulder and apply some ibuprofen gel to it and tap away at the keyboard and know I'm doing all I can to look after myself, and not beat myself up for not going on the walk I told myself yesterday I'd go on. I'm going to watch the bees drift lazily to and from the sunflowers outside my window, and enjoy the slightly cooler breeze floating through it. Maybe tomorrow I can be all hectic but today I'm taking this challenge to heart and taking a break. I probably need it after all the time away from the gym...🏋