Talking about potentially doing something that gets my creative side flowing, a chance to share a part of myself with others and have the chance to ignite a passion in others.
It might not occur, absolutely nothing could come from this, but in a way it already did.
It reminded me that not everything is dark and gloomy inside my head. Somewhere I have a tonne of glorious passion and ideas and inspiration. I pitched a course right off the top of my head to someone, and there was no time for overthinking or worrying; it was just me and this glorious feeling that I could actually do this.
I felt truly alive, I felt like for the first time in such a long time that there was a glimmer of purpose to my life. That I wasn't completely lost and hopeless. More importantly that I made someone, even for a moment, believe in my ability to do it. Not a friend, not family; a professional with experience.
Even though I'm tired, in pain and preparing my soothing music for when I'm a teeny bit on edge when the night comes, I feel inspired. Tonight, I feel like perhaps this is the beginning of a new adventure. I experienced a moment of metanoia; not repentance as the New Testament (perhaps wrongly) translates, and not in a spiritual way; but in the sense that I felt my journey change course.
It's foggy, and I only have the stars for a guide; but one way or another this ship's heading out of port and preparing for the unknown.
If it fails, at least I'll have something new to write about.. 🙃
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