Hey I'm back- yaaay 😀 👏
I was away for a few days without my laptop and I also didn't want my stay to be overshadowed by thinking of potentially triggering things (I don't read the challenge until the day) so I took a little hiatus, hopefully you can all understand.
Honestly, and I hope this doesn't come across as me boasting, I think I'm pretty on top with my coping skills.
My episodes are currently few and far apart; and before where they lasted days or weeks, I can usually resume as normal after a day or so. I've also managed to not self-harm in almost a year. However, I'm not above talking through my techniques or trying new things.
Firstly, I've stopped trying to fight my illness so much. I've accepted now that some days just aren't going to be great, sometimes I'm going to be irritable or emotional or manic; and that's okay. The more I try to act normal the harder it is for me to manage, and the more I struggle with lethargy because it's just exhausting putting a mask on every day. 😴
I've also started talking more openly about my mental health since I joined Time to Change in 2016. This has helped my confidence grow and given me a purpose for the first time in a long time. I don't think I could have been so honest about my feelings and my illness before I met such amazing brave people and found that actually I do have a voice and it does deserve to be heard. This, alongside a year of intensive therapy at a personality disorder unit, has helped me grow as a person and understand there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about with regards to mental health. We all have mental health, and 1 in 4 of us will be diagnosed with a mental illness each year. We are not alone; even if the world is still geared to make us feel that way. It's also helped me see my experiences and difficulties as opportunities to speak up and to spin it into a more positive way. It's helped me to turn my journey into written word which has allowed me to share and thus given me the opportunity to relate to more people.
I've mastered the five things trick where when anxiety starts hitting you, or you're uncertain of reality, you start making either a mental list or preferably an actual list of 5 things you can see, hear, feel, et cetera. It helps keep you grounded, in the moment, and has the added distraction bonus; whilst you're thinking of those things, you're not thinking about how scared you are.
I am queen 👑of self-care. I'm always a book, a playlist, a Netflix binge, and/or a bubble bath and facial away from calm. If I've got the cash a haircut alllllways makes me feel good. If I'm a bit poor, I'll just do a hair mask. I'm also keen on frequently buying myself little inexpensive treats online because opening parcels makes me smile. Occasionally I'll buy myself cheap flowers to put in my room if I've been in a bad place or just want to feel a bit of self-love. 💕
I try to see my friends and family as often as possible because I know that even whilst alone time is necessary sometimes, I am prone to being a bit of a hermit and it's not healthy for me to hide away all the time. Despite this, I also make sure I don't force myself to do things I'm just not mentally stable enough to do; my friends know that I only cancel if absolutely necessary as I hate letting people down. 👪👭
Finally, this blog has helped me focus and think about my mental health in both positive and negative light and given me many occasions to reflect on how far I've come and what I want to work on going forwards. That in itself helps me to cope; it gives me hope for a better future and it reminds me that even when it feels terrible- I've survived far worse. ☮
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